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You might be a chemistry major if…

  1. The Mercedes symbol looks like an eclipsed conformation.
  2. The first thing you reach for in the morning are your prescription safety glasses.
  3. All your shirts have holes.
  4. All your scars are not from bar fights but from chemical burns.
  5. Someone offers you acid, but its not what you expected.
  6. Describing sexual positions you use SN1, SN2 and all your friends know what you are talking about. (Theoritically)
  7. Kids ask you how Santa fits through a small chimney and you reply, “Duh, tunneling effect.”
  8. You buy a sleeping bag but its not for camping trips.
  9. You BBQ with the Bunsen burner.
  10. You say its the size that matters, but you’re really talking about molecular radii.
  11. You have blisters from playing with your molecular model kit
  12. You are fed up of people saying alcohol, when they mean ethanol
  13. You hear the word ‘Molar’ and teeth are the last thing on your mind.
  14. You habitually wash your hands BEFORE and AFTER using the restroom
  15. When someone says ‘sodium’ you don’t think about salt, but you think about a clay-like metal that goes well with a big lake.
  16. You know what saline water is composed of
  17. You hear “ABS” and you think about acrylnitril-butadiene-styrol copolymer instead of anti-lock breaking system.
  18. You hear that someone had a bicycle crash and you think that he couldn’t handle working with Naphthalene.
  19. You stare at the bottle of water and begin to wonder how you would separate all those ions.
  20. When a friend offers you a glass of amaretto after dinner, you have a sip and say “Ahh, Benzaldehyde…”
  21. You look at a hexagonal-shaped cookie and think of benzene, not a hexagon.
  22. I and Me can be iodine and methyl when read…
  23. OH is a hydroxy group, not Ohio (and I even live in Ohio)
  24. The stick figures you draw are carbon and not people. (Unless you are CBC)
  25. when you are humming “dilution is the solution to pollution” while looking at a urinal.
  26. You put a vodka shot in a 100 ml beaker.
  27. You use two stirring rods as chop sticks.
  28. You use the magnetic stirrer as a mixer for your drinks.
  29. You use the chemostat as an aquarium.
  30. You use the fume hood as a closet.
  31. You don’t say table sugar but call it sucrose, and you call common table salt as sodium chloride.
  32. Someone says, “I love U” and you think they are talking about Uranium!
  33. You use coke not for drinking, but for cleaning pennies
  34. You realize your most visited site is not a pornographic one: it’s Chemistry Blog or Chemical Forums!
  35. You understand these jokes and laughed at them.
Series NavigationAre you a Physics major?

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